Something happened today that somewhat upset me.

Someone I knew passed away, or rather, is passing away as I write.

Its not that I know this person very well; Although a familly friend, I have met her only once or twice.

What I do know is that she was a doctor, and for all intent and purposes, a darn good one. She had her clinic at gleneagles, and operated on my mum before...those were the times i met her.

And now, she is gone. And its not so much that she has gone, but the manner of her death that really bothers me.

You see, she had cancer. And she had it for the past 3 years. She had a lump, and when she went to get it treated at another doctor, they misdiagnosed her. And so here she is, lying in her hospital bed, her kidneys having failed, and one by one, her other organs following suit. The ventilator is gradually slowing, and her blood pressure is following suit. Once it stops, her brain will stop too.

Can you imagine the anguish her husband must be feeling? Standing and watching as the woman he has been with all these years slowly dies? To see it drawn out like that... . And the feeling of loneliness must be immense, especially as they have no children. Going back tonight, to a home that has suddenly become a house... I don't know if i would have the courage to face that.

Far worse is the fact that, the cancer she had, she has been diagnosing the very thing in others...that was in her area of specialization. I don't know why she didn't look at her own diagnosis, but I wish she had. If she had three years ago, maybe she would still be here now, and I wouldn't be typing this...

But "what ifs" are a dangerous road to take. Its a road from which escape is extremely hard, and a road i don't want to take again.

Guess all I can hope for is that the doctor that made the mistake has learnt from it. Its often hard to remember that they are human too, and being human, are also prone to mistakes. They are not God, that they can work miracles. And to expect them to do that is highly unfair on them. As long as they gave a treatment to the best of their abilities, and with due care and concern, we should accept whatever happens. They have a hard enough job as it is dealing with pain and death everyday, and they are ready targets for any emotions we may be feeling. Not an enviable life.

Lets not make it any harder for them.

All I can do now is pray. Pray that she doesn't feel any pain. Pray that she has found a better place. Pray that her husband can deal with the loneliness.

Pray that I never have to face what he has faced