Sunday, August 21, 2005

I want to fly away... need to go somewhere, anywhere. I just want to get away from this place for a while, maybe forever. It is suffocating, strangling, claustrophobic.


I need space, to search and find, the things I need. To be who I am. To identify myself. To be me.


I need to fly free.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

So many things going around in my head. Don't even know where to start!

Lets begin at the beginning.

I miss my mom. She went to India for two weeks, on a well deserved break, and I miss her. Its funny. I treat her more like an younger sister than a mother, but she's one remarkable lady, and I have a lot to learn from her. Yes she's sometimes annoying, but most mom's /younger sisters are. Not many though have her level of understanding, and sense of humour. Nor her inner strength. The house feels so empty without her.

Also, had a long talk with my dad. Wanted to know more about my roots I guess. Wanted to know my family history. Specifically my grandfather. Funny isn't it, how a person you've never met can have such an impact on your life? He has a larger than life personality, and I so want to be like him. So very much! Another person with tremendous courage and personality. Not me. I have too much pride, ego. In my family and the people who are IN it, In me and my (trivial...almost nonexistent) accomplishments! I wish I could let that go. I cling to their accomplishments like they were mine! Haiz!

On a more positive note. My running is improving. I managed to run 4.5km in 18min 42s. Think its cos of lisgtening to my workout MP3's. Next target.... 5km in 20 min... wish me luck!!! :P